Tick, Tick, Boom
by soliloquye
Summary: "This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper." They say we fear what we don't understand. If that's the case, Hermione Granger is about to get the scare of a lifetime. D/Hr
1. Chapter 1

_"The rising sun too bright in her losing eyes."  
-John Green, The Fault In Our Stars  
_

Sitting by the lake was my favorite past time.

I had found a nook in a tree, far across the water, away from everyone else, that gave me the perfect view of the woods and the waves lapping peacefully against the sand.

Sunrises were the best part of it all. A thousand bloody, ecstatic deaths and new beginnings filling the sky, in delightful wisps. Like cotton candy. Sweet to the taste and soft to the touch, with sharp, rough edges that only made it more pleasurable.

When I looked at these mornings, I could almost feel the explosion of a new day. It welled up inside of me, from my toes to my hairline, so close to popping, exploding with light and air and color. The joy would seize me then leave me as quickly as it came, like a cold-hearted lover looking for nothing but a quick release, leaving broken hearts and shattered promises in its wake.

In a way, I fancied myself a little like the sunrise. We were both so very far away. Stunning and unique- it in its beauty and me in my intellegence. So loved but so alone.

It isn't easy being a freak.

And so, I was alone, all alone, on that fateful morning when I looked across the lake and I saw him. Sitting on the shore, head in his arms, shaking... shaking so hard I was scared for just a moment, that he would start to come apart like a wind-up mouse that had been played with far too much. For that moment I could see his broken parts. His damaged gears.

The sunrise was a battlefield that day- spectacularly red and orange with pink hues and a cool, blue tint where the earth met the horizon. There was a light mist covering the ground and it covered him like a protective layer. All I could see was the black of his robes and the vivid blood red sheen of the sky reflecting off of his pale blond hair. Within that second, he was not my enemy. He was not even just a boy: he was a sunrise. A nebula. Alone. So close, but so far. Just like me. And in that sliver of a moment, I just wanted to reach out from across the void, the physical, social, and emotional barrier and simply touch him.

Brush my fingers against his cheek. Run my hands through his fine, silky hair, and press my lips ever so lightly to his jawbone.

Then he raised his head and saw me watching and it was gone. A look of awful shock flew across his face, soon replaced by a sneer and the middle finger.

I jumped down from my perch in the tree and shuddered, beginning to head towards the castle to finish homework.

I must have been going crazy. Whatever I had felt, whatever I had seen in him- it was wrong. Draco Malfoy was nothing like me. And for some reason, that made me sad.

* * *

I was not particularly noticeable, on the outside. Unruly dark brown hair and almond-shaped brown eyes, a light smattering of freckles across my nose. I do not romanticize nor underestimate myself. 5'4. 117 lbs. Completely average. Most days, I yearned I could be the same on the inside. Nobody could possibly keep up with me, not even the ones I loved most.

Harry and Ron scoffed and rolled their eyes at my love of homework, and nothing I could do would possibly change their minds. My deeply philosophical thoughts and reclusive tendencies were the same: All I got was a confused face and a perplexed "Bloody hell, Hermione," which used to be endearing but now was so frustrating I could barely restrain an exasperated eye-roll or a withering glare. They simply didn't understand.

When I was younger, I was an adorable child. Until I was about 13, that was all I was to people: an aggressively adorable mudblood. I was never too bothered nor pleased by this, until one day, when I was waiting for the bus, around the time I was 8, I met a boy. He looked about 17, with dark brown hair and light blue eyes, and I simply stared at him in awe- a big kid, near me!-as he took a cigarette out of his backpack and lit it with a plain red bic lighter. I watched, fascinated, with my light-up sketchers and my hello-kitty backpack, as the smoke curled up from the left side of his mouth towards the sky, a gorgeous and dangerous enigma to my childish mind.

After a while, he turned to look at me, removing the cigarette from his mouth for just enough time to drawl, "Well, aren't you cute."

My eyes widened and I squeaked, "Thank you, sir."

Glancing in my direction once more, he said, "Wasn't a compliment. Better to be dangerous than adorable, I always say."

And my mouth hung open and he got onto his bus and I never saw that boy again, but he shaped my entire life. I began learn as much as I could with an almost violent ambition. Knowledge is power, and power is danger.

All of this was fueled even more at Hogwarts, where I had to work to be anything more than the boy-who-lived's bushy haired, bucktoothed, mudblood friend. I'd like to think I had become dangerous, mentally and physically, and I do believe I'm right. An extremely talented dueler who devoured libraries for fun: I could kick serious ass.

I had just never gotten much of a chance.

Sighing, I dropped my bag on the floor of the library, then sat and begin to drift into sleep, my head resting on my arms. I was drifting somewhere in between conciousness and sleep when I heard a soft whisper. It was a male, talking secretively and quickly. He seemed rather agitated and I almost raised my head to see who and was and who they were talking to, but I was too far gone into the blissful oblivion to react. The last thing I heard before complete blackness was a harsh "No. It's far too difficult for a child, she's too young to be-" and I was gone.

I woke, a few hours later, to a bright light in my eyes and a familiar chattering around me. Blearily, I scanned the room, my eyes slowly adjusting to the light as I saw students sitting all around me. I yawned then looked down at my watch, nearly yelping ad I saw the time. It was 9:30! I was supposed to be in charms! As I grabbed my bag and swung it across my shoulder, I glared darkly at a third year, fiercely whispering, "Why didn't you wake me" She looked properly mollified as I grimaced and raced off.

Sprinting, I took a shortcut I had learned from memorizing a map of Hogwarts in 3rd year. Finally reaching the Charms classroom, I burst inside, breathlessly saying, "So sorry Professor Flitwick, I fell asleep and lost track of time-"

But wait. There was nobody in the classroom.

Fucking hell, it was a Saturday.

Leaning against the wall, I raised my hand to my head and groaned, feeling the laughter bubbling up from somewhere inside my ribcage, twisting itself around my bones and streaming through my blood until it finally reached my mouth and sprung forth like a tidal wave.

* * *

As I waltzed to the common room, a grin on my face, I began to hum. Nothing much- just a tune I remembered from the Yule Ball, back in 4th year. Twirling through the halls, I closed my eyes and remembered the way it had felt. I was the top of the world. Nobody could touch me, not the sneering Slytherins or the my idiot friends, and I was golden. I felt priceless, untouchable, gorgeous, like a statue made of a precious stone; I was a monument to the searing beauty of flawlessness, and I loved it. Of course, it had come crashing down, like every other good thing I had ever known, but for a moment it felt like an infinity, and I would take what I could.

The stress was getting to me, and I was acting rather silly, but I had earned it. There was pressure from all sides: a war, homework, prefect duties, friend duties, family duties- I was lucky I had escaped Ron's clumsy attempts at romance, passing him over to Lavender Brown. It had hurt, but it was necessary; this was war and I had to act like it. I was the brain of the Golden Trio, as well as the glue that kept them together, and there were plans to make, things to learn...

Entirely too much for a 16-year-old girl, but I was helpless and willing to serve and people took advantage of that far too often.

But that was a thought for another day, and I continued to waltz, my wild hair swirling around my head and my pale skin becoming flushed at the cold air as I spun. I was 14 again, and happy in a way I had never been in my life, and-

I was on the floor. Shaking my head woozily I looked up, catching a flash of blonde hair and groaning, closing my eyes to adjust. Wresting my elbows on the cold stone, I propped myself up and grumbled, "sorry, Malfoy. I should have watched where I was going."

Opening my eyes, I watched his face. He seemed torn- like something was wrong, and he didn't know what to do. I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling a familiar ache in my chest pushing to be felt. I knew that face, knew it like the back of my hand, because it was a face I wore almost every day.

Finally finding my voice after staring for a good 30 seconds, I asked, timidly, "Is- is something wrong, Malfoy? You seem-"

He cut me off fiercely, finding his voice as well. "Never mind me, Granger. I don't need your help." He turned his nose up and looked down at me in disgust, but I could still see the fear in his eyes, and so I simply nodded and backed away, my heart racing.

Later, I would think back to that moment and find it odd that he hadn't called me a mudblood and spat on me, but at the time I was too busy getting lost in thoughts of the pain that was so evident in his face that I didn't even notice.

* * *

_A/N: This is my new story. It will be about 20 chapters, I haven't finished writing yet but I think that'll be it. I will update most likely weekly, but no promises, I can at least say that I will at least post a new chapter bi-weekly, so it shouldn't be too long. That being said, it is summer, and weekly is likely. _

_It is D/Hr, and there will probably not be any other pairings, at least none that I have planned. It's M for language and sex, probably drinking, maybe some drugs. My Hermione is going to be a bit jittery and nervous, but totally brilliant and extremely philosophical. Draco is... complicated. He'll come in as more of a person in a few chapters, but the development of their romance will take a while. I think that's more realistic and in character for them, because of the way JK Rowling wrote them. __Reviews are helpful, and stuff ~_

_And lastly, I disclaim this entire story. The characters that are not OC belong to JK Rowling, and it was her genius that created Harry Potter, not mine. _

_Thank you for reading. I hope you stick around. _


	2. Chapter 2

_From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate._  
_- Socrates_

* * *

I had trouble sleeping that night.

I threw myself into my studies as soon as I reached the common room, but it wasn't quite enough. The thought of him kept creeping up on me, like Crookshanks hiding in a crack in the wall then suddenly pouncing on an unsuspecting mouse. The sudden vision of his shaking cased me to jump and nearly spill my ink several times.

Finally, when midnight rolled around and I was nearly alone by the fire, I put my books in my bag and headed up to my room. He may have disrupted my studying, but sleep was a place even he couldn't follow. Right?

Not right.

_I'm running, panting, the terror rising up through my chest, fueling my lungs and giving me a purpose: **Live. Live. Live. **_

_My heart is pounding, my brain screaming for more oxygen. Suddenly, I feel a tree root under my foot, mere seconds too late- I am on the frosty ground, my ankle feels broken, and the person chasing me suddenly appears._

_My breath catches in my throat- it's **him**. His white-blonde hair shines silver in the moonlight as he smirks, sauntering towards me. _

_"Well, hello there... Granger." He whispers my last name and crouches near me. "Hermione... Jean... **Granger**." The way he speaks is soft, and he sounds confused. I cannot bring myself to move as he moves forward. _

_Suddenly, he kisses me, capturing my lips with his in a fierce and unforgiving fashion. I unwillingly moan into his mouth as he pushes my wrists down, my fear and lust mingling somewhere in my lower stomach, traveling through my bloodstream and making it hard to breathe with longing..._

I woke up gasping for air, my blankets thrown off my bed and my fingers clenched into my mattress.

* * *

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I was too horrified and ashamed with my subconscious to sleep, the guilt of betraying my friends grating against my mind like sandpaper. I had not actually committed the deed, but I had certainly dreamed it, and I had- I had _enjoyed _it, way more than I should have. He was _Malfoy,_ he was the _ferret,_ he our very worst enemy, and not only had I dreamed of him- the very thought made me blush- but I had considered him as one of my own yesterday. I had thought of him as a person.

None of them could know.

Needless to say, with only three hours of rest, it did not shape up to be a very good day. I finally drifted off to sleep again just moments before my alarm went off, then commenced spilled pumpkin juice all over my robes at breakfast, making me late to class because I had to change. First period was Potions, which was the worst possible thing to be late for- Snape took twenty points away from Gryffindor and I almost got detention, but was saved by Pansy Parkinson asking a question about the bloodroot.

It began to drizzle during lunch. The clouds had been gray since I woke up and I had been waiting for it to rain all day. I turned my head straight up to look at the ceiling, and it was incredible- the raindrops appeared to be falling down but disappeared at some point during the fall. _That's some powerful spellwork. Maybe the _evanescunt_ charm? No, that's nowhere near strong enough for something this size. I've never read anything about it in Hogwarts, A History, but it has to be somewhere. I'll look in the library after classes, I wanted to read that biography of Rowena Ravenclaw anyways, and it may be in there because she was the genius of the four. That reminds me, I need to talk to Padma about out charms project and-_

"Hermione?"

I was jolted out of my thoughts rather suddenly, and it took me a few seconds to realize that Ron had been asking me a question.

"Sorry, Ron. I'm just really tired. What'd you say?" The yawn that followed my statement was unintentional but convenient; I really _was_ tired, they just... didn't need to know why. I felt a shiver go down my spine and I bulled my robes closer, even though I knew it wasn't from the cold.

Ron smiled at me, his white teeth accentuating his bright blue eyes. "I was just asking you what you were thinking about. You seemed preoccupied."

I grinned back at him, happy to see him smile. The butterflies that I got every time I saw his face flared up then died down, but I brushed it off: I was so distracted today that I couldn't pay attention to anything much today, not even the boy I loved. He was my best friend, even if he was completely oblivious to my feelings for him. "I was just thinking about... well, homework, really." I didn't want to confuse them by talking about my research, so I made my answer short and to the point.

"Of course she was thinking about homework, Ron, she's _Hermione_." Harry cut into the conversation, a teasing grin on his face. I just rolled my eyes, trying anf failing to hide my smile.

"Yeah, yeah, keep talking, at least _I'll_ get a good grade on my N.E.W.T.'s."

Harry and Ron gaped at me, then burst into laughter. "B-but Hermione!" Ron said, nearly choking on his toast. I smiled resignedly at them, still picking at my chicken, my expression becoming a little forced as they continued to laugh.

When they finally sobered up, they were quick to notice the annoyed look on my face. "Sorry, Hermione, we know you just want to be prepared, it's just... it's October. Of our _sixth year_." Harry said, his face earnest.

"Yes, yes, I know. You're right. I just want to be the very best I can be."

Ron sighed in relief, and I stifled the itch of anger that came swiftly as I realized he was pleased only because I hadn't gone on a rant about the importance of education. Harry just ruffled nmy already messy hair and beamed at me.

* * *

After an exhausting double potions, I was more than ready to settle down into a comfortable chair in the library and read about Rowena Ravenclaw. _There will most likely be some mention about the spell on the roof of the great hall. It certainly wasn't Helga Hufflepuff who cast it..._ an uncharacteristic smirk appeared on my face as I continued to read about her childhood.

The hours flew by, and before I knew it, it was 3 minutes to curfew. I had finally reached the seciton of the book about the creation of Hogwarts. With a groan, I checked my watch again- I would never make it to the Gryffindor Tower in time, even if I sprinted the whole way there, and Madame Pinch had left to go to bed an hour ago, so I couldn't check out the book. I didn't notice her leaving, but she must have thought I was gone already- there was no way she would have left me here alone. Biting my lip with worry, I quickly decided to break curfew just this once.

As I continued to read, my eyes beginning to droop, I yawned widely. _Maybe I'll take a break and read more tomorrow..._

_"Many of the spells Rowena used to create the foundation of the school were lost along with her death, such as the spell in the Great Hall and the North Wing. In 1618, a man called Hornobus Brightwood discovered some unrecognizable ruins carved into random places, and-"  
_

The page ended there. Suddenly, I was wide awake. The next page had been ripped out carefully, so that you could barely even see it was missing, but the words on the pages didn't match up and there was no more about the North Wing.

I had never heard of this part of the castle, let alone these mysterious ruins, and I'd read as many books on the history of Hogwarts as I could find.

Silently swearing to myself that I would return to the library the next day, I bookmarked my page and quietly crept off towards the Gryffindor tower.

* * *

**A/N: I've been pretty busy. I know that's no excuse, but... yeah, there was a major lack of motivation. I'll try to update soon, but I'm much more likely to do that if I get feedback and know people are actually reading. So yeah, I hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you guys soon!**


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